


I'm Going Away for a Long Time

by foxjar



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, M/M, Multi, Pining, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxjar/pseuds/foxjar
Summary: If they had made it to Mexico, maybe Sean would've had his second kiss.And in the end, maybe forgiveness is just an eleven-letter word.(Post-Redemption ending.)
Relationships: Sean Diaz/Finn
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	I'm Going Away for a Long Time

Sean has a lot of time to think now — over a decade's worth of it, in fact. The moments tick on and on, and every second brings a new breath of fear.

_Will I make it out? How's everyone doing?_

_What if something happened to Daniel?_

The wolf brothers have been caged at last, it seems. But not forever; nothing lasts that long.

When he's lying awake in his bunk, Sean thinks about everyone he has come to know in his short life: his father, Daniel, his grandparents, Finn, Karen.

He never thought he would be able to think of Karen — his mother — in a positive light, but he can't help that now, not after all she's done for him and Daniel. All that she has sacrificed. She visits him in jail sometimes, along with Daniel. Their bond can't be broken, not now, and even if she isn't trying to live as Daniel's mother out there, she is at least trying to be a friend.

That's all that Sean can ask for, really. For her to try.

He still remembers her mobile home like it was yesterday and not months since he first — and last — saw it: the plate of pancakes waiting for them when he and Daniel came back from camping, fluffy and sweet in his mouth; the awkwardness of her bra hanging up in the bathroom; the memorabilia hung throughout the main room.

Sean ended up hanging some things up too after everyone had helped make Away feel like home. He kept most of his letters in his backpack, tucked between the pages of his sketchbook, but Finn's letter is one he kept on the wall above his and Daniel's bed.

He still remembers the excitement bubbling up in his chest when he saw Finn's name along with the return address. Then the words themselves, with Finn talking about how much he misses him, how much he's thinking about him.

It feels like that's all Sean has been doing lately, thinking back on everything and how he could have done things differently. It's so much easier to reflect back on his mistakes now that it's all over; an end to the road at last.

The heist was a terrible idea, and to involve Daniel in that was one of the worst mistakes he has ever made. And yet he felt compelled to follow Finn to wherever he wanted to lead him, no matter how far or how dangerous that place happened to be. Finn inspired that sort of confidence; he was loyal and it was easy to believe in his goals, in his dreams of sipping coconut drinks without a care in the world.

If Sean hadn't agreed to break into Merrill's and stealing the money, Finn wouldn't have kissed him. After all this time he's spent thinking, he's sure of that now more than anything. But at the time, it felt so good; it was his first kiss and he finally found himself in another person's embrace at last. Finn had brushed his hand against his cheek, and the fire swelled up inside him. It all felt so right at the moment.

If Sean wasn't in jail, he wouldn't be thinking so much about all of this. If he didn't have all of this time to reflect, he doesn't think anything would have changed about how he feels. He'd still want to kiss Finn, again and again until they would be left gasping for air, laughing through their high. Together.

If he and Daniel had forced their way through the blockade, maybe they'd meet up with Finn in Mexico like they had talked about. And Sean wouldn't be left alone all the time, so he wouldn't be thinking about all of this pain and regret.

When he saw Finn in the hospital, lying there in his bed and looking as caged and defeated as Sean has felt for months now, he could have walked away. The scaffolding had groaned and swayed beneath his feet, and part of him wasn't even sure he'd make it to the ground in one piece. But he had to try; he would have died trying to save Daniel if it came to it.

Forgiveness came easy to him that night, but maybe it was just a word he said to calm both him and Finn down. Why did he tell Finn he didn't blame him for everything that happened? For losing Daniel, for losing his eye. Maybe they all could have hopped trains together, pretending that all was well in the world for a while. Up until they hit Mexico, of course; they would've had to part ways then.

Finn told Sean that he loved him, and he heard the emotion in his friend's voice as well as his own. They both choked up at the reunion, but why was it Finn who sounded so levelheaded in the end, the one who was able to express himself so easily?

It wasn't Finn's fault that Sean had followed him like a lost puppy. Of all the things that Finn is guilty of, Sean doesn't blame him for that.

But why did he forgive Finn so easily?

Sean touches his lips now, fingers dry. He remembers the kiss more vividly than most of his memories from their wild dash to the border.

He isn't sure now if he would have preferred the obliviousness that second kiss might've entailed. He wouldn't be alone — love would have been at his side — but he wouldn't be who he is today. And how might Daniel have turned out if they sped past that blockade? Would he have ended up happy, or would he have to live with those regrets?

The thought of kissing anyone else makes Sean anxious. Maybe someday he'll kiss someone so much that it won't hold the same meaning that it does now, desensitizing himself to the pain, but that won't be for a long time.

But maybe it's better this way. Because, after all, memories are just lessons for the future.

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a few months ago when I played LiS 2. After forgiving Finn in the hospital, I was looking through Sean's sketchbook and saw the pages about how Sean was jealous of Finn getting close to Daniel. That really struck me.


End file.
